Me when I’m broken
June 5, 2009
A line from a TV series once stated, “Just because you love someone does not mean they have to love you back. If you love them and they love you then you are lucky. But if they don’t, you move on.”
The harsh reality of love speaks clearly within each word. Emotions are forces of nature… you can never know the extent of its power until you finally feel it.
I love someone and at this moment my eyes long to stare to his eyes again, my lips wish to taste his lips, my heart beats hoping against hope that his is near. But every longing and every wish and every hope is all in vain, as now at this moment, he is happy in the arms of someone else.
It has been a year since I knew him, the guy that made me feel something so mysterious even today I could not explain what it is. But I thanked the Force for entangling our threads of life. I thought, “This is it… finally, the heavens are rewarding me for all the pain I have endured, for all the trials I have survived, for all the fears I have conquered. He is the answer, my long awaited dream finally coming true.”
I love him to the point of losing myself, compromising my identity. I was willing to rip out dimensions just to hear him say the words “I love you”. But it never came.
He was a great guy but it seems the Fates decided to remove the entanglement of our threads, removing the crease in the Tapestry of Life… leaving me with buckets full of emotions I have no where to dump.
Can one really be happy for someone for loving someone else? Can one really wish them good luck for their relationship while you feel like wrenching your heart, chopping it to pieces then burning every last bit just to escape the hurt and pain and loneliness?
After a year of not communicating with him, I thought I have moved on but the truth was, my heart was just waiting… waiting for something that will never be.
Charlotte York once said that we will only find two great loves in our lifetime. I really pray she’s right….
